Mercury retrograde in Aries – let go and don’t push so hard

Lately I am feeling a fire burning in my body and soul. I am tired of waiting to see if my relationship is going to work out. And yet patience is exactly what is being asked of me.

The biggest spiritual lesson I have learned this last year is that when I wait, all things come to me. I have the perfect apartment because I waited. It wasn’t easy staying with friends for several months, but it led to the perfect space opening up. A similar thing happened when I was looking for the current YabYummy temple space. I had to wait longer than I wanted, but wound up with the perfect situation.

My inner guidance is quiet, and I have to get really still to hear it properly. This means I do nothing until I am sure it is time to act. The best remedy for my impatience is to distract myself with self-loving acts like preparing beautiful meals for one, and long soaks in the hot tub. And eventually, more will be revealed.

Sun Entering Aries: Be Bold and Courageous!

I woke this morning with my old companion Fear, lying in bed with me and poking me with all the things that could possibly go wrong in my life right now. The unease was so powerful that it was immobilizing me. And my question to myself was: “why”?

The answer was a little strange. Somehow getting everything I want was terrifying me.

So I sat with the fear, I wrote about it, took it to ceremony and soothed myself with my favorite thing: tea and blankets. When I am really feeling upset, I make myself a pot of tea and wrap myself in a blanket or shawl. This brings almost immediate comfort, and allows me to continue doing the things that must be done. Sometimes the fear passes on its own with this simple comfort, other times there is a task that I must do that I am afraid of, and once I do that task the fog of fear and inertia lifts.

As the world goes through the big changes we are experiencing, it is normal for all of us to feel fear because we are growing and healing in ways we never expected. Even positive change can feel terrifying. For all of you I wish you whatever comfort is your own blanket and pot of tea.

Transformational Virgo full moon beginning – Let go into simplicity

Suddenly my life has gone from almost no privacy at all to spending a lot of time alone. I notice that the solitude feels mostly good. Even though I have hope that someday I will share living space again with a beloved, I know that I am a long way from that right now, and it is ok.

Truthfully, I know that this solitude and peace is good for me. I am getting the chance to discover myself again. To see who I am after the tremendous losses that have occurred over the last several months. I have been purified by the fire of grief.

In solitude I am becoming pregnant with creation. My thoughts have become more clear, and I have less fear than ever before about trying something new.

I am often struck by how much I am like a Jaguar–a solitary animal who wanders the wild places of nature. Only I am wandering the wild tangles of an urban jungle, navigating a human wilderness, protecting and assisting wherever I can.

Approaching Super Full Moon in Virgo: Get ready to LET GO

As we approach a major astrological event scheduled for very early Saturday morning, I can feel Spirit guiding me to ground into the Earth element. Earth is not only about rest, but also about solidity, abundance, and a firm foundation. It’s kinda like hearing the spiritual message “find your center so that you will be ready to let go of anything that is not YOU.”

In meditation this morning I found myself receiving images of spreading rich compost on the earth, digging, and planting. It is the simple things in life right now that are supporting me in moving forward. Yes I am being creative, yes I am feeling unconditional love, yes I am moving my sexual energy each day, yes I am meditating and exercising my mind. But my focus is on simple self care: eating well, sleeping, and exercising my body.

I’ve just moved into a beautiful little studio apartment and the process of unpacking is the ultimate in self care, creating the space that is perfect for me. As I unpack each box I decide what to keep and what to pass along to someone else who needs it. The sum total of my belongings is getting surprisingly small. I just don’t need most of my old belongings any more. I am letting go symbolically here, opening the way for the future, for new things to come in.

Moon in Cancer–Nurturing

With all the big changes on the planet and in my own life lately, I have found myself feeling like a spiritual warrior–using my shaman senses to breathe in and anchor stray energy for the planet and all the people that don’t know how to do so and are feeling frightened and angry. At night I simply feel the need to rest.

Resting is hard for me at the moment because there is much to do. I have just moved my home, and my work in the world through Yabyummy is giving birth to many new projects including plans to travel, new classes, and a new book. There is strong temptation to work into the wee hours of the night unpacking boxes and working on projects.

But my body keeps crying out for quiet time and I am honoring that. I am reading, sleeping, and walking in nature. I know that for me to continue on this path I must renew my resources.  It is my prayer for you that you also find a way to honor your own deepest truth in these changing times.

Mercury, Jupiter, and Uranus in Aries

Today Uranus moved into the fiery sign of Aries and we saw a powerful Earthquake and Tsunami hit Japan. Is it related? I don’t know, but I do know that yesterday and this morning I felt powerful forces moving through my body. For the last two mornings I have needed to meditate lying down. Yesterday morning my body didn’t feel well and I spent a good deal of time working healing on myself to clear the illness. It felt as though there was a heaviness and an anxiety that wasn’t my own, needing to clear through my body.

Today I felt physically well when I woke, but odd tremors of energy moving down my legs during my meditation. When I rose I found there had been a major Earthquake and Tsunami in Japan. Are the powerful forces moving through my body related to the powerful forces moving through our planet today? Who knows? What I do know is that it seems the world is going through a period of major change right now. It is my intention to stay grounded and be of service during this time. What is yours?

Saturn in Libra

My son has adopted his first pet, which happens to be a white rabbit named Pearl. My son’s learning about rabbits has reminded me of the things I have learned over the years about communication between human and rabbit. Like communication between men and women, it is full of opportunities for misunderstanding.

Human body language is full of bold and confident approaches. So to us, offering a hand is a way that we make contact and signal friendship with each other. To a rabbit, a hand or fingers dangling in front of their face is a challenge to fight! A bunny will nudge your leg to get attention. But other times will nudge you to tell you to get out of the way! Communications and body language between men and women can be filled with the same kinds of misunderstandings and differences in perception. It is our intention to understand each other and to create harmony that makes it all work.

Mercury and Jupiter in Aries

At the moment the world is on an astrological journey into the element of fire, where fast and deep transformation is possible. This is a great time for letting go and for working the practice of detachment I wrote about yesterday.

My former healing partner taught me a helpful meditation where I imagine letting go of all the energetic cords between myself and the person I am wanting to stay detached from. This doesn’t mean that I stop loving that person, or that I will never allow them to connect to me energetically. What it does instead is free me to move about the world from a place of my own dreams and desires, instead of constantly thinking about theirs. Once I have released them, there is more room for Spirit to connect to me, and for me to feel safe, free, and supported in the world. I like that feeling…

Book Oracle:

“a man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way’ – Mark Twain

There is someone in my life who is going down a road with their choices that seems likely to lead to a lot of pain. Today I woke up and realized there is nothing I can do about that. I have been trying so hard to get them to see it my way that I am exhausted.  

 I convinced myself today to let go and let them fall. I just don’t have the energy to keep focusing on their issue, and it’s not healthy for me to do so. Tonight I feel tired but peaceful, and grateful for Mark Twain’s wisdom. I know that they will learn exactly what is best for them. As for me, I can love them by staying out of their business and keeping my heart open.  

Moon in Aries

I went to sleep very sad last night because my evening with my beloved pointed out three things: how much I love him, how much he loves me, and the gulf between what I need and what he needs. It was pure torture to leave his arms and come home to my solitary bed, but necessary for me to keep my sanity. I know that when a lover and I want really different things, that continuing to be sexually intimate only makes me insane because of the strong bonding that I start to feel.

A lot of sadness welled up and moved through me and I cried all the way home. I was crying because the future I want with him seems impossible. I was crying because I’ve carried this dream for so many years. I was crying because he told me how much he loved me and wished that he could give me what I want: monogamy.

What’s different for me from times past is that I don’t blame him or think he is wrong for wanting something different. After the crying, I let go. The energy moved. In the morning I took excellent care of myself with uplifting reading, creative expression, and time with supportive friends. This self care shifted me into excitement for the new apartment I will be living in a few days from now, and the amazing expansion I am seeing in my work. When it comes to my work and my living space, all my dreams are coming true. I am at peace tonight because I know that when the time is right, the same will happen in my romantic life. All I have to do is trust, and listen to the tasks that Spirit whispers in my ear.