Moon in Aries
I went to sleep very sad last night because my evening with my beloved pointed out three things: how much I love him, how much he loves me, and the gulf between what I need and what he needs. It was pure torture to leave his arms and come home to my solitary bed, but necessary for me to keep my sanity. I know that when a lover and I want really different things, that continuing to be sexually intimate only makes me insane because of the strong bonding that I start to feel.
A lot of sadness welled up and moved through me and I cried all the way home. I was crying because the future I want with him seems impossible. I was crying because I’ve carried this dream for so many years. I was crying because he told me how much he loved me and wished that he could give me what I want: monogamy.
What’s different for me from times past is that I don’t blame him or think he is wrong for wanting something different. After the crying, I let go. The energy moved. In the morning I took excellent care of myself with uplifting reading, creative expression, and time with supportive friends. This self care shifted me into excitement for the new apartment I will be living in a few days from now, and the amazing expansion I am seeing in my work. When it comes to my work and my living space, all my dreams are coming true. I am at peace tonight because I know that when the time is right, the same will happen in my romantic life. All I have to do is trust, and listen to the tasks that Spirit whispers in my ear.
